You Know You're In Malaysia When...

1. KTM 2 minutes early is actually the previous one 17 minutes late.
2. Yellow on the traffic light means "speed up before it turns red!"
3. Just red on the traffic light means "there's still a chance to go!"
4. Al fresco dining is chairs & tables on sidewalks AND roadside.
5. The national sport is watching the English Premier League.
6. Popcorn & pretzels are sweet, not salty as they should be.
7. People buying original DVDs are deemed crazy by society.
8. Towing for illegally parked cars is virtually non-existent.
9. Shopping malls are the unofficial community center.
10. Your broadband internet actually feels like dial-up.
11. Tipping to waiters at a restaurant is a myth.
12. People go out to have teh tarik, not beer.
13. It feels like summer all year long!

Bahasa "English"

The verdict is out! The Malaysian government has decided to revert the teaching of science & mathematics in both primary and secondary in English back to Bahasa Malaysia (BM); note that this is the second time the English-BM reversion has happened. GMP [Gabungan Mansuhkan PPSMI (Pengajaran & Pembelajaran Sains Dan Matematik Dalam Inggeris)], the movement who wanted BM to be used as the sole language of instruction in all subjects taught in school are rejoicing that the decision was made in their favor.

This begs the question: bagus ke tak bagus? My take: BAGUS!

Odd, you may think that I agree with the government's decision since I dreaded learning Fizik, Kimia, Biologi & Matematik Tambahan in BM (I was in the second last batch before PPSMI was implemented in 2003) and had to "translate" all this knowledge to English when I entered INTEC & later at Penn State University. I have to say I was one of the lucky ones to have been taught English by my family when I was small so I was competent enough to switch between languages when it matters.

Some of my friends who are currently studying in the States are against this reversal since they know the uphill struggle of going to and fro between BM and English especially in the field of science where technical terms and definitions are the norm. They might overcome the whole word translation shenanigan but weaving those jargons together into sentences, heck even essays, would present a greater challenge in an already independent environment that is of university life. But what about the millions of Malay, Chinese and Indian school-goers back at home: have we ever thought of what they are going through?

Syahredzan Johan made a good point that the problem with PPSMI was the poor implementation rather than the concept itself and this has caused major problems to the students and teachers ("Tikus-Tikus Ujian PPSMI") as the statistics have shown. His musings make sense and I would like to pull this issue into a larger context i.e. this is intrically connected with the tertiary education, the workforce and ultimately the Malaysian identity. Here's my breakdown of these three entities:

Tertiary Education
The problem arises post-SPM where colleges and universities are in a tug-of-war between teaching courses in BM or English since most text books in specialized courses are in English and no effort are being made to translate these books into BM. In some cases, you would have students reading English text books and BM notes from the instructors! Thus, a similar decision must be made in line with the non-teaching of PPSMI in school because you just don't want students to be still confused jumping from one language to another, do you?

Workforce
This is another area where the English-BM paradox applies. The over-emphasis of employers on an applicant's proficiency of English had struck fear onto people's minds that if you have major problems in speaking and writing in English, you can look forward to a career in flipping Ramly burgers. So, why take all the hassle learning in-depth BM when you already speak the language and when your future employers treasure English like the 16th-century Portuguese treasure Melaka?

Identity
And these two areas led me to the Malaysian mentality and identity; bangsa Malaysia. The paradox I mentioned just now surmises that we love our bahasa but somehow we put our colonial master's language as number one hence the problems in college syllabus and getting a job. Whose expectation was it that all Malaysians must be good in English? We are learning a totally different language and not everyone can master it even after 11 years of schooling. It's not a video game where you can master it in a couple of hours, it's a LANGUAGE!

This is a matter of self-realization and soul searching for each and every Malaysian to decide whether to put Bahasa Malaysia or English on the throne; if we collectively decide that BM is the king, implement a pro-BM policy for the whole nation i.e. prioritize our mother tongue in books, billboards, forums and resumes. Of course you can still learn English (or any other language as guaranteed by the Perlembagaan) and strive to be fluent at it but at the rate we were going, we are as much eroding our own cultural identity as we are ignoring our language.

Remember: Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa.

Michael Jackson Media Overkill

Why, o' omniscient media, why?

Why do you need to concoct such an intrusive barrage of coverage on the death of Michael Joseph Jackson, the acclaimed King Of Pop? Is it not enough for you to just reminisce on his tour de force on pop culture during the 80's and 90's? You just have to explore every possible avenue to milk another cash cow of yours by examining every nook and cranny of Neverland ranch and even bring his former chimp Bubbles, who was enjoying his life in some zoo, into the frame.

Personally, I had no affection to Michael Jackson as he was not part of my childhood (if Green Day were to suffer the similar fate, touch wood, I'd shed some tears) but the excessive coverage has made me feel disgusted and repulsive. It's as if his death must be the talk of the town and be made known to everyone in all four corners of the globe. Yes, we know he has passed away so can we just lay the body to rest? But nooo, the body had to be paraded to the citizens of the world in many of your EXCLUSIVE and BREAKING NEWS, pushing all other headlines however significant it may be, to the backburner.

I'm not saying that I don't give a shit; all I want is for you to pay your respects to him and just move on with life. Yes, he brought joy to the world with his melodies and has been significant to many people's musical upbringing but it is time to part and it would be best to remember him through his songs rather than trying to look for skeletons in his closet before going on another posthumous witch-hunt. Do not get absorbed into all the hype because some media outlets honestly do the coverage for what Michael Jackson did while most see him as means to gain extra "ratings."

Summer '09: Of Post-Rock At Central Park & The Greyhound Bus

A Soaked Out Post-Rock Gig
Hullo! I just got back from New York City on a short 4-day trip to watch "One of My American Bands To See Before I Die", the majestic quartet Explosions In The Sky from Austin, TX. It was a wet (approx. two hours rain before they came on stage, the only shower I had in New York!) but terrific show with Munaf Rayani, one of the guitarists, playing like a man possessed.

During the show, one idiot shouted "Please....I want First Breath [After Coma]" while everyone else was quietly focusing their ears and minds to another song; this heralded someone to shout "Shut the fuck up!," generating a couple of chuckles towards that mood-spoiler. Nothing feels better than crowd justice.

Greyhound: We're On Our Way
Once I was chatting with this American friend who asked me how I travel from State College to Philadelphia. My succinct answer was "Greyhound" and I got a rather interesting riposte: "Don't homeless people take the Greyhound?" I wasn't able to answer that until this trip. While waiting for my transfer at Harrisburg, PA I came upon a rather friendly guy who gave the ubiquitous remark "How you doin'?" and offered me a smoke which I politely declined. Then, that guy proceeded to chat with a woman beside him telling her that he was homeless because both his parents died in a car crash and he has been going from town to town vying his trade as an odd-job worker.

Shifting aside from this sad but true story, Greyhound with its bus terminals have that bizarre charm of producing all the quirky characters that you can imagine. While waiting for the bus at New York, I glanced upon this middle-aged man pushing his elderly mother on a wheelchair towards the departure gate. They were there for some time and suddenly were gone for about 20 minutes. When they came back again, the man was wearing a glittery red dress that was quite tight around the waist (to show his curves?!?) and had lipstick on. I don't know if it's a gag but doing it at 9:30 a.m. during morning rush hour is not the right time to prove a point. Fortunately, both went missing again and didn't board the bus to Harrisburg.

In the bus, I had the privilege to chat with this girl who came from Montreal, Canada to visit her family down at Newark, NJ. We had some small talk about our backgrounds and also about music whereby she put on a baffled face when I mentioned "Explosions In The Sky" and I envied her for being able to be part of Coachella (at least I still have All Points West to look forward to). Even though I have answered my friend's question about the nature of this bus company, I would say that it is more than just homeless people using it to get around. It is like a meeting point of people's journey through their lives: you have tales of sorrows, the downright weirdos and the formation of friendships.

Well, there you have it. The many faces of Greyhound.

Sejauh Manakah Anda Cintai Bahasa Malaysia?

Kalau anda peka dengan keadaan semasa di Malaysia, sudah tentu anda tahu mengenai isu PPSMI dan "pemelayuan" kosa kata Bahasa Inggeris (BI) yang hangat didebatkan oleh pelbagai pihak daripada ahli politik sehingga ke para cendekiawan bahasa. Namun, saya ingin menyedarkan anda mengenai satu lagi wabak yang telah menyular di kalangan rakyat negara ini, terutamanya di kalangan rumpun Melayu; nampaknya, kebanyakan pengguna sistem pesanan ringkas (SMS) dan internet gemar memotong dan menambah perkataan-perkataan yang sedia ada kepada hasil yang lebih buruk seperti Frankenstein: nampaknya seperti manusia tetapi wajahnya keji dan buruk.

Contohnya, ayat "Saya keluar sekejap sahaja/je" telah diadun dengan penuh kreativiti kepada "Sy kuar jap jew." Para pengguna tegar SMS mengatakan pemendekan perkataan adalah perlu supaya intipati pesanan yang sama dapat dihantar dengan lebih cepat dan mudah. Alasan ini boleh diterima pakai kerana pemendekan kata telah lama digunakan seperti "yang" kepada "yg" & "dan lain-lain" kepada "dll" tetapi apabila "je" (bahasa pasar untuk sahaja) tiba-tiba boleh disebut sebagai "jew" (Yahudi dalam BI), itu sudah dikira melampau. Kenapa perlu tambah huruf "w" sedangkan tiada pula orang yang ingin menyebutnya sebegitu?

Rakan-rakan, kita sedang hidup di zaman di mana segelintir, malah kebanyakan, daripada masyarakat kita mengambil mudah Bahasa Malaysia (BM) dan lebih teruk lagi mempersendakan BM sebagai satu bahan mainan. Kita sering kali melaungkan cogan kata "Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa" namun apakah kita benar-benar memartabatkan bahasa ibunda kita sebagai entiti yang tinggi nilainya terhadap bangsa? Kita harus sedar bahawa banyak akibat buruk telah dan akan berlaku apabila sesebuah masyarakat membuat endah tak endah mengenai jati diri mereka. Misalnya, masih terdapat sejumlah pelajar Melayu yang gagal dalam mata pelajaran Bahasa Malaysia di peringkat PMR dan SPM.

Selagi sikap ini tidak dibendung, tidak hairan BM mungkin senasib dengan hieroglif tamadun Mesir Purba: hanya dijumpai dalam buku sejarah. Oleh itu, cubalah mengekang diri daripada mencemarkan keindahan bahasa ini yang telah wujud selama ratusan tahun. Bagi pengguna SMS dan alam siber, sudah tentu amat sukar untuk menggunakan perkataan dan ayat yang lengkap tetapi kurangkanlah "penyuntingan" kerana kita mahu membentuk bangsa Malaysia sebagai masyarakat yang amat menghargai keluhuran bahasa sendiri.

Mari Belajar Sejarah! / Let's Learn History!

This post is specially written to all my fellow Malaysians who had the privilege of learning Sejarah throughout our five years of Secondary School. Take this as something to ponder about rather than a piece that (might) offend your sensibilities.

Pertaining to the topic at hand, do you remember the reasons you had to study Sejarah for your PMR and SPM examinations? Well, most of us would simply reply "So that we can score an A in them." Yes, if I were asked with that question four or six years ago, my answer would be something of that nature. After finishing my uniform-wearing, perhimpunan-going part of my life I realized that I, and probably most of you, overlooked a small yet immensely important tool used in this subject: bias.

Does that ring a bell to you?

That sub-topic was covered in the first chapter of Sejarah Tingkatan 1 that detailed "his-story" as events that involved certain parties in a certain period of time and bias is the interpretation of the story based on which side you're on e.g. Western Orientalists would label Tok Janggut, who fought against them in the state of Kelantan, as an influential rebel leader while Malaysian historians would depict him as a freedom fighter against the opressive tyranny of the British Empire. Ingat tak?

Although it was passed off as a meaningless and minute part of our Sejarah education (there was no necessity in memorizing it since it won't come out in the exam; remember the spotting culture too?), I realized that it gave a huge bearing on me to be more of an opinionated person rather than just accepting the facts as absolute truths. Thus, my bias on that example given above would be:

"Tok Janggut and his contemporaries actually did it to protect their self-interest. When they were under the Sultanate, they were appointed as statesmen (pembesar) who collected taxes from the people for the Sultan but their powers were usurped when the British came and colonized Malaya. Losing their income and status, the only option was to fight the invaders since they did not get a strong backing from the royalty."

So, who's theory is correct: the westerners', the locals' or mine? Well, that's the beauty of bias; no one opinion should be taken as something total because it allows us the freedom to form our own interpretation of history. Therefore, this has led me to form my own stand on other topics in Malaysian history e.g. the concept of derhaka (treason) against the Sultan made it available for unjust rulers to abuse their power for personal gains thus blind loyalty to the ruler should not be glorified, not to mention countless other issues and controversies the world has to offer.

As for you, start by using this small piece of knowledge to critique our own history rather than just regurgitating all the facts printed in the text book like what we used to do because you will get a clearer sense of the whole picture when you begin examining it from different angles. It's not wrong being neutral but it's right to have your own personal conviction.

Resistance Is Futile: BrokeNCYDE

"1-2, We're coming for you!"

So, while scouring Facebook (again) on a wet and gloomy Wednesday afternoon, I stumbled upon this group that my friend joined called Stop BrokeNCYDE. After doing a quick 10 minute research, I found out that BrokeNCYDE is a 4-piece crunk/rap group hailing from Albuquerque, NM. So, why stop them? Seems that their music sounds like "ear-rape", as one of many music critiques would put it or to be more exact, has "...offensive lyrics, a shallow image, and no actual musicianship." On the other spectrum, one of the defenders of this group said BrokeNCYDE "...CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER!"

"3-4, Lock your door!"

Heck, even mothers of daughters whom are die-hard fans of this group set up a website, Mothers Against BrokeNCYDE, who wants the organizers of Warped Tour to dump BrokeNCYDE from this year's roster as they cite that this group encourages "racist, sexist, paedophilic and demeaning music that glorifies underage sex, hard drinking and 'getting crunk' and unpatriotic views!" So, where will this controversy lead us to?

"5-6, Suck on my dick!"

Remember the 1950's when Elvis Presley did his dance gyrations on The Milton Berle Show and he was branded as the epitome of the decay of morality among teenagers of that decade? Well, here we go again! Except this time BrokeNCYDE does not bring any cultural or historical importance to the world and their lyrics are "stronger" than Elvis' thinly-veiled metaphor for sex.

I believe that it would be relevant for people to oppose them but since America is a country that believes in freedom of speech, then it would be very hard to justify their means. So far there has not been any cases of teenage girls being gang-raped by guys who did it after listening to one of BrokeNCYDE's songs but if it happened (whether or not they were influenced by BrokeNCYDE), expect this group to be one of the scapegoats.

"BrokeNCYDE will never die!"

What can we do about it, then? Honestly, just do nothing because the stronger you oppose it, people who initially support it will be more loyal and protective towards it. As most of the people who comment on it know, those who like this group are volatile teenagers around the age of 12 to 16 that are still searching for their identity and find that going against their parents bring some sort of personal satisfaction and achievement (been there, done that). So, attempting to ban BrokeNCYDE will make their fans want to sacrifice their lives for the existence and preservation of this group.

To those sensible enough on knowing that this group has bad taste, ignore them. To the mothers worried that their daughters might whore themselves in front of a BrokeNCYDE gig, just keep check of what they listen to. Or better, do a trade-off like "I'll allow you to see Cute Is What We Aim For/other contemporary generic bands that teenagers listen to nowadays on a school night but you have to promise me not to listen to BrokeNCYDE anymore." And...for those who swear in the name of God that they will devote themselves to BrokeNCYDE, I just wanna see if you guys would take the same oath when you're 21.

We're All Slaves Of The Machines

Well, whaddya know. The first decade of the 21st century is coming to a close and one gift that mankind received was the power and beauty of online social networking. To put it into generic terms, Facebook and now Twitter. Good, huh? It just makes the world smaller and smaller; 20 to 30 years ago my mother was so proud to correspond with her pen pal who lived in England and those snail mails, as our generation call it today, took weeks or even months to reach the recipient. But now, at a click of a couple of buttons, you'll know that your friend is currently backpacking in Vienna and is having Rahmschnitzel mit Champignon for lunch! Good, huh? Think again.

We have become absorbed with these cyberspace contraptions that some have chosen it as an end; the first thing that Samantha would do after taking photos at her friend's birthday party is to upload all those photos on Facebook and tag everyone that is on her friends list in order for them to comment on how they look like. Or take for instance Saiful who would Twitter every 10 minutes about the story of his life:

8:50 am - good morning, people! rise n shine
9:00 am - making some scrambled eggs and pancakes for bfast
9:13 am - yum yum
9:25 am - gotta poop. last nite's curry was too hot to handle...

Is that what life has become?

Apparently, it is on the way. More and more people are taking up this "social expert" pill as they are willing to communicate with a larger network of people but at the same time they are slowly sacrificing precious face-to-face interactions with their friends, colleagues and perhaps family. It would be easier doing it online, isn't it? Of course these sites are an excellent way to keep in touch with those who are far away from you like my family back in Malaysia or my Australian cousins but I don't see the point of writing on your friend's wall who lives in the same apartment block as you do since you could just go to your friend's place and have a proper, meaningful chat.

As of the time of typing, I am on my Facebook account to check people's updates on what's going on in their life. Yes, I'm still an addict who would just refuse to click that "Logout" button till I am satisfied with all those (almost) meaningless information on other people's lives. But slowly I'm restraining myself from mercilessly commenting on other people's post (nowadays it seems you can comment on anything!) & abstaining from those dreaded quizzes that others are so fond of. I only interact by writing on people's wall or by sending them a message & limit the number of photo albums in my profile. Call me a control freak but that's the best way to curb my enthusiasm on it.

As for you, try as much as you can to not make it as part of your life. I know it's very hard but there's more to life than being consumed by it. Be as much as independent from this technology because you don't want to be slaves of the machines, do you?

Summer '09: Backpacking America (Part II)

Hello again. After filling my last five days watching 1940's American noir movies (Humphrey Bogart is the coolest actor of his time; he gets the ladies twice as fast as James Bond could), it is high time for me to continue on my tales during my travels.

Free Spirit
One of the many quirks that singles me out from the rest of my friends is my liking on traveling alone. Words that would come out of their mouth upon hearing that I'm going solo include "Wouldn't it be boring traveling all these places all by yourself?", "Wouldn't it be kind of dangerous; what if something happens to you?" and my favorite, "Ko gila ke?"

Well, my first dose of this kind of travel actually happened on a cold December night at England. I was at London for 12 days with my friend and his family during my school holidays & while walking around Tottenham Court Road, I stumbled upon this booth selling concert tickets and one my favorites during that time (2004) was The Darkness was performing at Wembley Arena. Since my pal wasn't interested, I decided to head to Wembley all by myself.

After the concert ended around 10 pm, I took the bus from the arena to Wembley Central and passed by ghettoes upon ghettoes of outer London which are creepy and dodgy at night. Anything you thought that could go wrong might just happen. I had to get off at a stop to transfer buses that'll take me to the city and whaddya know, behind the bus stop was a cemetery! I don't know how or why but I didn't feel scared a bit.I got on the second bus, passing more ghettoes, eventually reaching home safe & sound. So, I thought to myself: why not I do this more often? Of course it has its risks but its all fun!

Back to that favorite question, I answer "Yes. Aku gila." Since I had survived that episode when I was only 16 years of age, then of course its worth a shot doing it again someplace else. Well, since I've already grown-up to the "old enough" age of 21, I've gotten less daring and more philosophical about it. I see myself as a lone ranger who travels from town to town just wanting to grab the juice of knowledge out of that place; meanwhile, I'll befriend other traveling compadres and just hang out with them till my time has come. Once the bottle of juice is full & everyone parts with smiling goodbyes, I'll just move on to the next joint. Pardon the Wild West pun, I was thinking of Sergio Leone's The Good, The Bad & The Ugly while doing this post.

And yes! It's true; New Orleans was the best time of my life. The hostel had a great atmosphere where people can lepak and just have a chat and it even culminated to a get together of mostly strangers and acquaintances from all around the world (dominated by Brits, they seem to be everywhere!) and we headed out to Frenchman St to check out the scene over there for a crazy Memorial Day weekend night-out. On another occasion, our group consisted of a couple of Germans and Dutch with a Canadian, an(other) English, a Danish and me, a Malaysian. Talk about multicultural!

There are a lot of untold (not untold really, just don't wanna bore you) benefits of traveling as a free spirit other than forming a web of networks with people from around the world. I'm not gonna force you on doing it but if you get the chance, try it once. At least for a short trip. An unexpected twist to your adventure or a wacky compadre could just etch an everlasting memory to your mind.

Summer '09: Backpacking America (Part I)

Greetings people of cyberspace. I have recently completed my 29-day journey of Austin, San Antonio, New Orleans and Pittsburgh and am safely back in rural central Pennsyvlania that is of State College. This serialized post would not be a detailed experience of what I did throughout my trip but what I learned as I skipped from city to city.

Stereotyping Stereotypes

Before we begin, if I say the word "Texas" what would be the first things to come to your mind? My guess would be cowboys, desert, George W. Bush & rednecks. Thanks to television and the silver screen all of us just simply know how a typical Texan look like: a gun-toting, horse-riding, take-no-for-an-answer, tough guy. Well, my experience at Austin seemed to disprove any stereotype I had before. One of my acquantainces whom I met during my travels told me that "Austin is a liberal oasis smacked in the middle of a huge conservative desert." How true he is.

Throughout my five days at Austin, I didn't see anyone wearing full cowboy gear except the occasional hat & contrary to the fact, people over there do not speak with a Southern accent. If you were to meet an Austinite in any other state, you wouldn't have guessed that person to be from Texas. It was only during my second last night at Austin that I finally savored the accent from a waitress at a Mexican restaurant at SoCo but there was still a suspicion that she might come from Oklahoma or Alabama.

Besides that, people over there are very friendly (think Southern hospitality) and modern; one example would be while I was paying for my falafel at Whole Foods Market, a quite high-end supermarket that sells local and organic food, the cashier had a chat with me about my t-shirt which portrayed the post-rock band Explosions In The Sky and when we shifted to the topic of music festivals in America, he told me he had been to Coachella six times! Really made me felt like a rookie.

Fat Americans
Another stereotype that citizens of other nations like to make fun about or to express disgust is Americans are a bunch of fat and lazy sods. True. BUT this premise only holds in the southern states. I was quite shocked to see a proportional number of fat people at Austin, San Antonio & New Orleans as compared to when I went to Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and New York City; one glaring reason for this apparent quantity of large people per square mile is down to their diet.

Food in the south is the best that you can get: steaks are in abundance, hence making it their staple and almost everything that can be deep-fried will be deep-fried while up north people tend to be more health conscious and have more variety to choose from. However, the media would spin it around and generalize that all Americans are overweight. This is a hasty surmise since their diet has already become part of their lifestyle and as far as economics is concerned, demand would not diminish as long as there is cheap supply.