Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Kuman & Gajah

Aku cukup tak puas hati apabila kawan aku tetiba mintak aku belanja dia. Tanpa apa-apa sebab. Kalau ada sebab pun mesti alasan merepek macam "Ala, ko kan kaya" atau "Ko kan dah lama tak belanja aku." Yang aku peliknya, sejak bila orang macam ni ada hak nak MINTAK orang lain belanja dia sewenang-wenangnya? Yang lagi dahsyat bila orang tu mintak dengan muka penuh keyakinan tanpa segan-silu seolah-olah kawan dia tu mesin ATM. Bagi aku, tak salah nak belanja orang tapi biarlah kawan ko tu belanja ko atas dasar keikhlasan hati dia nak melihat kawan dia gembira melapah sepinggan timbunan nasi kandar. Ni tak, tetiba je "Weh, belanja aku makan." Inikan angin tak bertiup, tetiba je ko DISURUH untuk mengeluarkan duit ko yang ko simpan lama nak beli kasut baru supaya orang lain kenyang. Orang boleh debat, kasi kawan makan ni sedekah. Aku boleh cakap: hidup kawan aku ni bukan kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. Kalau diorang betul-betul susah atau miskin, simpati tu ada & aku akan belanja makan. Tapi kalau nak 1) dengan tak malunya mintak orang belanja & 2) mintak tanpa sebab yang kukuh, minta maaf lah "kawan."
*****
Masa aku balik Malaysia bulan Disember lepas, aku ada berbincang dengan ayah aku pasal kenapa orang Malaysia lebih tahu pasal isu-isu sedunia berbanding orang Amerika Syarikat yang dijadikan bahan jenaka kerana kebanyakan daripada mereka buta geografi dan tak peka kepada berita antarabangsa. Lepas dua tahun lebih aku tinggal kat sini aku nampak memang ada kebenaran kepada tesis ayah aku tetapi apa yang rakyat Amerika kurang dalam hal-hal seantero mereka sangat peka dan ghairah terhadap isu negara, terutamanya dalam skop negeri dan komuniti setempat. Sebaliknya berlaku kat Malaysia: kita tahu lebih kurang semua aspek dalam kebangkitan rakyat Mesir terhadap Hosni Mubarak tetapi berapa ramai yang tahu pasal pembinaan loji pemprosesan tanah jarang yang membawa kesan radioaktif di Kuantan? Satu lagi contoh yang aku perasan adalah kat Facebook, rata-rata ramai rakan dan kenalan aku letak "politik sux!" atau "aku benci politik" kat ruangan fahaman politik di bahagian maklumat. Nak atau tidak, korang tak boleh "benci" politik sebab perkara ini secara langsung akan mempengaruhi masa depan korang lebih-lebih lagi dari sudut ekonomi sebab para politikus ni lah yang akan mentadbir dan menguruskan negara (aku lebih memihak kepada ideologi Plato dalam buku The Republic di mana dia impikan cendekiawan yang menerajui negara; seorang Penganalisis Kewangan dilantak sebagai Menteri Kewangan tak masuk akal ke?). Bak kata pepatah: kuman seberang laut nampak, gajah depan mata tak nampak. Dan bak kata Si Tanpa Nama: lu fikirlah sendiri.
*****
Aku tak pakai telefon pintar. Aku masih tetap setia dengan Nokia 5310 Xpress Music yang mempunyai papan kekunci "klasik" mengikut standard sekarang. Aku mengharap satu masa nanti telefon-telefon pintar ni semua rosak & hanya telefon-telefon "old school" yang masih berfungsi & orang-orang "old school" ni lah yang akan menyelamatkan keadaan. Macam John McClane dalam Die Hard 4.0: bila orang jahat guna segala teknologi canggih untuk menimbulkan kekacauan, En. McClane menggunakan taktik dan helah 90-an dia untuk menumbangkan musuh yang serba canggih ni. Analogi merepek kan?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

What Kind Of Idiot Are You On Facebook? #2

Well, well. It has come to this. I didn't want to do it but the situation has gotten out of hand and someone has to step in and save these souls from impending doom. Here are more random destructive behaviors that citizens of Facebook indulge on.
  1. Becoming a fan of every random quote imaginable - this is one example of the fast-paced society that we live in. Pretty much goes like this:  you see someone becoming a fan of "I hate when I accidentally make awkward eye contact with people", think "Hey, that statement gets me!", click THAT button & move on with your life.
  2. The cocks who made those fan pages in the first place - shows that pathetic losers do get some recognition in life!
  3. Promoting that you can make money on Facebook - definitely a ponzi scheme which is prevalent in Malaysia ever since the advent of the catch phrase "skim cepat kaya." Quit being a lazy-arsed slacker & get a real job. Seriously, I have more respect towards Indonesian construction workers than these greedy opportunists.
  4. 'Tag' Abusing - The 'tag' system was made so that it will be easier to identify your friends or acquantainces in a given photo. But it just had to be screwed with. Now, any imaginable picture can be tagged with all your friends & the latest spam (notably The Sims spam) can automatically 'tag' your friends unknowingly, causing wall havoc.
  5. "I Can't Believe..." type fan pages - something new to Facebook here. Apparently you have to become a fan of these kind of pages to see how Megan Fox looked like when she was small or the answer to the riddle that 77.7% Oxford students got wrong or the best divorce letter ever. Definitely something shady is going on here...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

What Kind Of Idiot Are You On Facebook?

I had this for quite a while now & I felt compelled to list down the idiocy of people that Facebook created after reading my mate Shafar's parody on Facebook addicts, moi included. Here are five things I find troubling about our human race when we go about with our "social networking."
  1. Posting a status/link then "Liking" it - that just reeks of loneliness & the need to grab people's attention. Please, get a life.
  2. "Liking" a person's post on another person's wall - I know Facebook put it there for you to join in the fun but must you be so intrusive? It's as if you're being nosy snooping about other people's conversation. 
  3. Fans demanding their favorite artists to come to their state/country - you know they give fuck all about your comments. They wanna go on tour wherever they wanna go on tour; please, stop deluding yourself with "fan power."
  4. Fans proud to be the first to comment on a post - ah, the joyful monkeys that get the banana peel instead of the banana.
  5. Deactivating account then reactivating it again - the worst of the lot; primarily done because he/she is "having a turbulent time" (in other words, being emo) or just wants cheap publicity.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

We're All Slaves Of The Machines

Well, whaddya know. The first decade of the 21st century is coming to a close and one gift that mankind received was the power and beauty of online social networking. To put it into generic terms, Facebook and now Twitter. Good, huh? It just makes the world smaller and smaller; 20 to 30 years ago my mother was so proud to correspond with her pen pal who lived in England and those snail mails, as our generation call it today, took weeks or even months to reach the recipient. But now, at a click of a couple of buttons, you'll know that your friend is currently backpacking in Vienna and is having Rahmschnitzel mit Champignon for lunch! Good, huh? Think again.

We have become absorbed with these cyberspace contraptions that some have chosen it as an end; the first thing that Samantha would do after taking photos at her friend's birthday party is to upload all those photos on Facebook and tag everyone that is on her friends list in order for them to comment on how they look like. Or take for instance Saiful who would Twitter every 10 minutes about the story of his life:
8:50 am - good morning, people! rise n shine
9:00 am - making some scrambled eggs and pancakes for bfast
9:13 am - yum yum
9:25 am - gotta poop. last nite's curry was too hot to handle...

Is that what life has become?

Apparently, it is on the way. More and more people are taking up this "social expert" pill as they are willing to communicate with a larger network of people but at the same time they are slowly sacrificing precious face-to-face interactions with their friends, colleagues and perhaps family. It would be easier doing it online, isn't it? Of course these sites are an excellent way to keep in touch with those who are far away from you like my family back in Malaysia or my Australian cousins but I don't see the point of writing on your friend's wall who lives in the same apartment block as you do since you could just go to your friend's place and have a proper, meaningful chat.

As of the time of typing, I am on my Facebook account to check people's updates on what's going on in their life. Yes, I'm still an addict who would just refuse to click that "Logout" button till I am satisfied with all those (almost) meaningless information on other people's lives. But slowly I'm restraining myself from mercilessly commenting on other people's post (nowadays it seems you can comment on anything!) & abstaining from those dreaded quizzes that others are so fond of. I only interact by writing on people's wall or by sending them a message & limit the number of photo albums in my profile. Call me a control freak but that's the best way to curb my enthusiasm on it.

As for you, try as much as you can to not make it as part of your life. I know it's very hard but there's more to life than being consumed by it. Be as much as independent from this technology because you don't want to be slaves of the machines, do you?

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Facebook Quizzes: Harmless Fun or Tools of Commercialism?

Recently, my Facebook news feed has been inundated with these mysterious quizzes where they would ask "What type of politician are you?", "At what age will you have children?", "How good are you in Kelantanese?" etc. Well, I've tried one of them (I got Lim Kit Siang; someone who wants liberte, equalite, fraternite, no?) and I saw that now, you can actually make your own quiz! Well, how nifty is that?

It's not. And here's why.

Right from when this application was packaged, distributed and pushed to everyone's news feed, it has now become a cyberspace drug of epic proportions, being the filler of a Facebook junkie's boredom. Once you tried one and got the high from the results which was in your favor, you decide to shoot up another one. And another one. And another. Not contented, you decide to allow the application to post your results on everyone's news feed, letting them know of the availability of this drug. Still not contented, you move on to another variation of the drug. And repeat.

Alright. Enough with the metaphore. Here's the lowdown.

Once you click on a quiz, this will show up e.g.

Allowing Kuiz Tatabahasa Kedah! to access will let it pull your profile information, photos, your friends' info, and other content that it requires to work.

You have now made a commitment to let the application use all your personal information on your Facebook account AND your network of friends so it can "work." Hmm, wonder what that means? So, ignoring this stupid request you press Allow.

Now, it's quiz time! But wait, before you begin clicking on the answers look around the page. If you notice on the top, bottom and right side of the quiz there are other "clickable" links asking, begging & persuading you to join their test, quiz or game. But being the addicted, ahem, I mean committed quiz taker you are, you would continue to finish the quiz and can't wait to get the exciting results that you wanna share with your pals!

In reality, you have just become a tool of Facebook for them to maximize their profits; they are aware that by promoting these quizzes & also letting their users (yup, that's you and me) create their own quizzes, they can increase the number of their web pages to post advertisements. Since Facebook is a free social networking site, advertisements and commercials are the primary, if not only, source of revenue for them. Thus, the more popular and highly accessed a quiz is, the more advertisers would want to pay for the page & the richer Facebook gets!

So, I offer you two options:

  1. Stop being Facebook's cash cow! Ignore those quizzes, hide them from your news feed & encourage your friends not to take it. And since they're applications you can delete it from your profile by simply go to "Settings" --> "Application Settings" and click those "X"s on the right. Prevent Facebook from using your profile as an ATM machine!
  2. Ignore & deride everything I said and continue to gleefully do the "What type of flower are you?" and "Are you stupid?" knowing that Mark Zuckerberg, billionaire CEO of Facebook, is laughing all the way to the bank.