Kenapa

Kenapa setiap kali bila seseorang cakap kat kawan dia yang dia tak mandi lagi, kawan dia mesti cakap "Eee, busuknya!" walaupun dia memang tak bau busuk pun?

*****

Kenapa kita rasa geli bila seseorang tu cuci dubur dia dengan tisu sebab takde air? Kalau orang yang diajar mencuci dubur dia dengan tisu sejak kecil mesti rasa geli bila dia dapat tau yang ada orang lain cuci dubur dengan tangan & air, kan?

*****

Oh, semester ni aku berkesempatan mengambil kelas ballroom dancing (tari-menari) untuk memenuhi keperluan general education aku (aku suka sistem pendidikan universiti kat sini sebab selain kelas-kelas wajib dalam jurusan masing-masing, aku ada kebebasan untuk memilih kelas-kelas lain untuk memenuhi keperluan seperti sains sosial, kemanusiaan, sukan & rekreasi, seni dll). Kelas ni hanya 1.5 kredit dan berlangsung dua kali seminggu tetapi memang seronok ah. Setakat ni aku dah belajar tiga jenis tarian - waltz, swing & foxtrot. Waltz dan foxtrot lebih klasik dimana setiap pergerakan dan rangka tarian tu agak terkawal dan ketat. Aku lagi swing sebab tarian dia lebih "longgar" dan pergerakan dia lebih "cool." Paling best, aku dapat menari kepada irama "rock n' roll" seperti lagu "Rock Around The Clock" dendangan Bill Haley & The Comets. Aku tak sabar nak belajar salsa, tango & cha-cha nanti. Hmm, nanti aku akan paksa teman wanita aku belajar tarian-tarian ni. 

 *****

Bangsat. Boleh pulak sejuk balik. Dah turun ke takat beku pulak. Tiba-tiba, keinginan untuk melapah aiskrim & menghirup latte ais Dunkin' Donuts memuncak.

Agama Terbesar Di Malaysia: Konsumerisme

Nak tanya sikit. Soalan ini ditujukan kepada penduduk bandar-bandar sekitar Malaysia terutamanya yang tinggal di Lembah Kelang. Tahu tak anda semua menyembah dua agama? Yang pertama adalah agama atau fahaman yang anda amalkan sejak lahir ataupun kepada mu'allaf, yang baru anda amalkan. Tetapi sedar tak anda pun secara tidak langsung mengamalkan satu lagi "agama" yang juga dianuti semua orang tanpa mengira kaum, jantina, umur dan darjat: kepenggunaan atau dalam bahasa Menggeris "konsumerisme." Wikipedia Indonesia memberi takrif yang menarik, terutamanya ayat kedua: 

"Konsumerisme adalah paham atau ideologi yang menjadikan seseorang atau kelompok melakukan atau menjalankan proses konsumsi atau pemakaian barang-barang hasil produksi secara berlebihan atau tidak sepantasnya secara sadar dan berkelanjutan. Hal tersebut menjadikan manusia menjadi pecandu dari suatu produk, sehingga ketergantungan tersebut tidak dapat atau susah untuk dihilangkan. Sifat konsumtif yang ditimbulkan akan menjadikan penyakit jiwa yang tanpa sadar menjangkit manusia dalam kehidupannya."

Agama ini tidak memerlukan kitab malah rukun; agama ini hanya memerlukan rumah-rumah ibadah mega yang dibina dengan teguh dan megah di setiap pelosok agar menjadi tumpuan penganutnya setiap hujung minggu. Pendingin hawa yang dipasang penuh dan kuat membolehkan para penganut melakukan tawaf bertingkat selama berjam-jam tanpa mengeluarkan setitik peluh pun. Lapar atau dahaga? Ajaran universal ini memastikan pengikutnya disaji dengan pelbagai juadah dari Timur hingga ke Barat. Sebesar mana pun, agama ini tetap akan memastikan anak-anak buahnya selesa dan akan setia kepadanya sehingga akhir hayat.

Agama ini boleh dikatakan mengamalkan konsep politheisme dimana setiap rumah ibadah mega menempatkan puluhan, kadangkala ratusan, tuhan untuk disembah. Politheisme ini mungkin menyinggung para monotheis atau atheis tetapi mereka tidak perlu risau kerana agama ini juga cenderung kepada fahaman liberal. Anda hanya mahu melihat rahmat-rahmat yang ditayangkan oleh tuhan-tuhan ini? Boleh. Anda mahu setia kepada satu tuhan dengan menyalurkan wang Ringgit anda kepada dia sahaja? Boleh. Anda hanya mahu sujud kepada tuhan-tuhan yang memaparkan tanda "SALE" di pintu gerbang mereka? Sudah tentu boleh!

Selaras dengan sifat universal, agama ini hanya mempunyai satu rukun sahaja: duit. Penjelasan rukun ini amat mudah: jika anda ada wang, anda berhak membeli syurga anda sendiri. Anda akan diangkat oleh awan eskalator dan dibawa menghadap tuhan pencipta produk; setelah mengorbankan pendapatan hasil bantingan tulang anda kepada malaikat-malaikatnya, anda akan membawa pulang syurga anda di dalam beg plastik ke rumah untuk dipamerkan kepada para penganut lain kelak. Apabila anda rasa bosan dengan syurga itu, maka tibalah masanya untuk mengunjungi rumah ibadah mega untuk membeli syurga baru. Patah tumbuh, hilang berganti.

Sedar tidak sedar, agama ini tidak perlukan gerombolan-gerombolan pendakwah untuk dihantar ke seluruh pelusuk alam; agama ini tidak perlukan percaturan dakwah secara terbuka atau secara kiasan. Konsumerisme hanya memerlukan generasi masakini untuk menerimanya dengan hati dan tangan terbuka dan mengharap agar generasi baru akan lahir terus dalam fahaman ini. Maka lihat dengan sendiri lah bahawa kitab-kitab suci akan diganti dengan perlahan-lahan oleh beg beli-belah yang jenamanya seantero apabila tamadun manusia menjejak langkah-langkah kecil ke abad-22.

P/S: Inspirasi karangan ini daripada novel "Kingdom Come" oleh J.G. Ballard.

Travelogue Atlanta: Spring Break Special

Recently during spring break, I went down to Atlanta, GA with my mates from PSU's American Society For Microbiology. We visited the Center For Disease Control (CDC), volunteered three days for Habitat For Humanity building houses & met some new people along the way. All great times, right? Yes, but these memories made it greater.

March 9

• 6:02 pm - Saw a dude jumped the "Repair" sign of an escalator & proceeded to run down the out-of-order escalator.
• 7:12 pm - Lauren hugged her jacket tightly & wishing she brought along her pepper spray when walking around a shady-looking part of town.
• 8:27 pm - "Que?" Response of the shopkeeper when I asked her where the peanut butter was.

March 10

• 7:40 am - Amalina dressed-up as if she's like a kid going to school (or at least Atlanta Metropolitan College).
• 8:08 am - After traveling by train & bus using the MARTA seven-day pass  from the hotel to the build site, Juan asked "How do we get back?"
• 4:30 pm - Seven teenage girls being very, very raucous at the back of the bus with random sing-a-longs got warned by the bus driver twice.
• 4:39 pm - One of the seven aforementioned noisy brats somehow fell down the stairs at the train station.

March 11

• 7:37 am - Some voodoo-looking lady was preaching about "Jesus Christ" on the train & was asking for donations.
• 8:31 am - Improvisation 101: trashbag poncho!
• 1:24 pm - Dan being adamant that the English system was better than the Metric system in face of strong opposition by everybody else.
• 7:24 pm - Saw a dude wearing a Penn State hoodie at The Vortex at midtown Atlanta.
• 10:43 pm - Akmal mengigau. 'Nuff said.

March 12

• 8:45 am - Everyone NEARLY didn't get out of the train at Inman Park. Tired and sleepy, perhaps?
• 9:00 am - Ilham kena kacau by some dodgy-looking dude.
• 9:13 am - Same dodgy dude sat beside Ammar on the bus and proceeded to fart at him.
• 1:59 pm - "This is Atlanta, it ain't New York baby!" A woman teaching some crowd manner of getting in and out of the train at Five Points station.
• 2:04 pm - A Penn State t-shirt sold at a sports shop at Underground Atlanta, that looks eerily similar to Sg. Wang Plaza.
• 2:10 pm - Met some Indonesians who were selling cajun food, of all places!
• 3:34 pm - Amalina randomly stepping on bricks with names etched on it for no apparent reason at the Olympic Park.
• 4:04 pm - Saw the first Jew in Atlanta in front of Coca-Cola World!
• 6:59 pm - "They get nervous with no brown people around" Free talking about Lauren & Dan who were left at the supermarket. In a Black neighborhood.
• 10:17 pm - Lauren grabbed Ammar's arm after claiming that a dude we passed while walking to the bus stop were checking her out twice.

March 13

• 6:55 am - Cool view of the sunrise from the train.
• 8:02 am - Saw a street named "Tiger Flowers Drive."
• 4:42 pm - Waved back from the bus at a dude who was randomly waving at the bus.
• 4:44 pm - Saw an intersection of "Gun Club Rd" & "Hollywood Rd."
• 6:51 pm - Ilham made a joke about trytophan which nobody understood.

What Kind Of Idiot Are You On Facebook? #2

Well, well. It has come to this. I didn't want to do it but the situation has gotten out of hand and someone has to step in and save these souls from impending doom. Here are more random destructive behaviors that citizens of Facebook indulge on.

1. Becoming a fan of every random quote imaginable - this is one example of the fast-paced society that we live in. Pretty much goes like this:  you see someone becoming a fan of "I hate when I accidentally make awkward eye contact with people", think "Hey, that statement gets me!", click THAT button & move on with your life.
2. The cocks who made those fan pages in the first place - shows that pathetic losers do get some recognition in life!
3. Promoting that you can make money on Facebook - definitely a ponzi scheme which is prevalent in Malaysia ever since the advent of the catch phrase "skim cepat kaya." Quit being a lazy-arsed slacker & get a real job. Seriously, I have more respect towards Indonesian construction workers than these greedy opportunists.
4. 'Tag' Abusing - The 'tag' system was made so that it will be easier to identify your friends or acquantainces in a given photo. But it just had to be screwed with. Now, any imaginable picture can be tagged with all your friends & the latest spam (notably The Sims spam) can automatically 'tag' your friends unknowingly, causing wall havoc.
5. "I Can't Believe..." type fan pages - something new to Facebook here. Apparently you have to become a fan of these kind of pages to see how Megan Fox looked like when she was small or the answer to the riddle that 77.7% Oxford students got wrong or the best divorce letter ever. Definitely something shady is going on here...

What Kind Of Idiot Are You On Facebook?

I had this for quite a while now & I felt compelled to list down the idiocy of people that Facebook created after reading my mate Shafar's parody on Facebook addicts, moi included. Here are five things I find troubling about our human race when we go about with our "social networking."

1. Posting a status/link then "Liking" it - that just reeks of loneliness & the need to grab people's attention. Please, get a life.
2. "Liking" a person's post on another person's wall - I know Facebook put it there for you to join in the fun but must you be so intrusive? It's as if you're being nosy snooping about other people's conversation. 
3. Fans demanding their favorite artists to come to their state/country - you know they give fuck all about your comments. They wanna go on tour wherever they wanna go on tour; please, stop deluding yourself with "fan power."
   
4. Fans proud to be the first to comment on a post - ah, the joyful monkeys that get the banana peel instead of the banana.
   
5. Deactivating account then reactivating it again - the worst of the lot; primarily done because he/she is "having a turbulent time" (in other words, being emo) or just wants cheap publicity.
   

Random Ramblings

Random ramblings about whatever is going on in my head right now. Since I haven't updated my blog in a while, I'll try to do it every week by at least giving you five piece of my minds. Oh, don't you just love the beauty of memory, storing and retrieving all those worthless garbage information?

"Non-biotech quote from a biotech instructor of the week: 'Marketing people are the most evil people on the surface of the earth, they bring to the downfall of civilization' - M.T."

 "Whoever does that two-finger peace sign (V) in a picture should have those two fingers cut off."

"My parents are evil. Yesterday morning (Malaysia time), my dad lied to my grandmother (who's living with us) that I was in a deep financial crisis causing me to live in hunger and poverty. This made her breakdown and cried, immediately called me to check on my well-being; yes, she was literally sobbing and at first I thought she was faking it. Oh, pity too my sister too who just woke up and was absolutely clueless to the hoohaa in the kitchen."

"Things To Do In America #49: buy local produce i.e. apple cider from the Amish - check."

"My housemate's criteria of a Malaysian being 'Americanized': the ability to wear a t-shirt and pants/shorts without bringing along a hoodie or sweater during fall."

"Whatever that can be put on the bread, will be put on the bread."

"I know I'm a non-conformist. But I now realize that when I'm in a group of non-conformists, I'll try my best to be THE non-conformist of that group. Individuality at its best."

"I've been playing Vampire Weekend's "A-Punk" all week long. Fucking catchy song, that is. Oh, and "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" too."

"Facebook Statuses of the Week: "Biar mati anak, jangan mati pucuk" - A.A. & "Don't worry, be hippies" - S.I." 

"Now that my hair is long (nearly shoulder length), I think I wanna try the wet look."

"Understood only by Penn State students: you know that person is a freshmen when he/she looks both ways on College Ave."

Summer '09: Receving My First (Mistaken) Racial Remark

As the title goes, I can cross that off my list of things to experience in America. My 11-months uncut hair has given me the license to look like a Hispanic. Hence, the "(Mistaken)" in my post. The story goes like this:

I was waiting in line for the 126 NJ Transit bus to Hoboken at Manhattan's Port Authority Bus Terminal after enjoying the night at Roseland Ballroom watching Rise Against and Billy Talent besides moshing to Rancid in between. There I saw this short, half-bald white guy talking to one of the gate operators.

When he was done he passed by in front of me and shoved me with his hand. After walking four to five steps while mumbling something he stopped and said "Papi, fuck you!" Then he left whilst the people lining-up behind were laughing in bewilderment.

I don't know if he's inherently racist or just pissed because USA lost to Mexico 5-0 in yesterday's Gold Cup final (it seems Americans DO care about their soccer) but it's kinda funny though that he totally mistook me as a Hispanic since I'm Asian through and through. It gives me a bad impression on New Yorkers and the city in general: ridiculous parking fees, dearth of public restrooms, people who are less friendly and helpful & now this xenophobe but I can accept that it's just part and parcel of life in metropolitan America.

You Know You're In Malaysia When...

1. KTM 2 minutes early is actually the previous one 17 minutes late.
2. Yellow on the traffic light means "speed up before it turns red!"
3. Just red on the traffic light means "there's still a chance to go!"
4. Al fresco dining is chairs & tables on sidewalks AND roadside.
5. The national sport is watching the English Premier League.
6. Popcorn & pretzels are sweet, not salty as they should be.
7. People buying original DVDs are deemed crazy by society.
8. Towing for illegally parked cars is virtually non-existent.
9. Shopping malls are the unofficial community center.
10. Your broadband internet actually feels like dial-up.
11. Tipping to waiters at a restaurant is a myth.
12. People go out to have teh tarik, not beer.
13. It feels like summer all year long!

Summer '09: Of Post-Rock At Central Park & The Greyhound Bus

A Soaked Out Post-Rock Gig
Hullo! I just got back from New York City on a short 4-day trip to watch "One of My American Bands To See Before I Die", the majestic quartet Explosions In The Sky from Austin, TX. It was a wet (approx. two hours rain before they came on stage, the only shower I had in New York!) but terrific show with Munaf Rayani, one of the guitarists, playing like a man possessed.

During the show, one idiot shouted "Please....I want First Breath [After Coma]" while everyone else was quietly focusing their ears and minds to another song; this heralded someone to shout "Shut the fuck up!," generating a couple of chuckles towards that mood-spoiler. Nothing feels better than crowd justice.

Greyhound: We're On Our Way
Once I was chatting with this American friend who asked me how I travel from State College to Philadelphia. My succinct answer was "Greyhound" and I got a rather interesting riposte: "Don't homeless people take the Greyhound?" I wasn't able to answer that until this trip. While waiting for my transfer at Harrisburg, PA I came upon a rather friendly guy who gave the ubiquitous remark "How you doin'?" and offered me a smoke which I politely declined. Then, that guy proceeded to chat with a woman beside him telling her that he was homeless because both his parents died in a car crash and he has been going from town to town vying his trade as an odd-job worker.

Shifting aside from this sad but true story, Greyhound with its bus terminals have that bizarre charm of producing all the quirky characters that you can imagine. While waiting for the bus at New York, I glanced upon this middle-aged man pushing his elderly mother on a wheelchair towards the departure gate. They were there for some time and suddenly were gone for about 20 minutes. When they came back again, the man was wearing a glittery red dress that was quite tight around the waist (to show his curves?!?) and had lipstick on. I don't know if it's a gag but doing it at 9:30 a.m. during morning rush hour is not the right time to prove a point. Fortunately, both went missing again and didn't board the bus to Harrisburg.

In the bus, I had the privilege to chat with this girl who came from Montreal, Canada to visit her family down at Newark, NJ. We had some small talk about our backgrounds and also about music whereby she put on a baffled face when I mentioned "Explosions In The Sky" and I envied her for being able to be part of Coachella (at least I still have All Points West to look forward to). Even though I have answered my friend's question about the nature of this bus company, I would say that it is more than just homeless people using it to get around. It is like a meeting point of people's journey through their lives: you have tales of sorrows, the downright weirdos and the formation of friendships.

Well, there you have it. The many faces of Greyhound.

Sejauh Manakah Anda Cintai Bahasa Malaysia?

Kalau anda peka dengan keadaan semasa di Malaysia, sudah tentu anda tahu mengenai isu PPSMI dan "pemelayuan" kosa kata Bahasa Inggeris (BI) yang hangat didebatkan oleh pelbagai pihak daripada ahli politik sehingga ke para cendekiawan bahasa. Namun, saya ingin menyedarkan anda mengenai satu lagi wabak yang telah menyular di kalangan rakyat negara ini, terutamanya di kalangan rumpun Melayu; nampaknya, kebanyakan pengguna sistem pesanan ringkas (SMS) dan internet gemar memotong dan menambah perkataan-perkataan yang sedia ada kepada hasil yang lebih buruk seperti Frankenstein: nampaknya seperti manusia tetapi wajahnya keji dan buruk.

Contohnya, ayat "Saya keluar sekejap sahaja/je" telah diadun dengan penuh kreativiti kepada "Sy kuar jap jew." Para pengguna tegar SMS mengatakan pemendekan perkataan adalah perlu supaya intipati pesanan yang sama dapat dihantar dengan lebih cepat dan mudah. Alasan ini boleh diterima pakai kerana pemendekan kata telah lama digunakan seperti "yang" kepada "yg" & "dan lain-lain" kepada "dll" tetapi apabila "je" (bahasa pasar untuk sahaja) tiba-tiba boleh disebut sebagai "jew" (Yahudi dalam BI), itu sudah dikira melampau. Kenapa perlu tambah huruf "w" sedangkan tiada pula orang yang ingin menyebutnya sebegitu?

Rakan-rakan, kita sedang hidup di zaman di mana segelintir, malah kebanyakan, daripada masyarakat kita mengambil mudah Bahasa Malaysia (BM) dan lebih teruk lagi mempersendakan BM sebagai satu bahan mainan. Kita sering kali melaungkan cogan kata "Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa" namun apakah kita benar-benar memartabatkan bahasa ibunda kita sebagai entiti yang tinggi nilainya terhadap bangsa? Kita harus sedar bahawa banyak akibat buruk telah dan akan berlaku apabila sesebuah masyarakat membuat endah tak endah mengenai jati diri mereka. Misalnya, masih terdapat sejumlah pelajar Melayu yang gagal dalam mata pelajaran Bahasa Malaysia di peringkat PMR dan SPM.

Selagi sikap ini tidak dibendung, tidak hairan BM mungkin senasib dengan hieroglif tamadun Mesir Purba: hanya dijumpai dalam buku sejarah. Oleh itu, cubalah mengekang diri daripada mencemarkan keindahan bahasa ini yang telah wujud selama ratusan tahun. Bagi pengguna SMS dan alam siber, sudah tentu amat sukar untuk menggunakan perkataan dan ayat yang lengkap tetapi kurangkanlah "penyuntingan" kerana kita mahu membentuk bangsa Malaysia sebagai masyarakat yang amat menghargai keluhuran bahasa sendiri.

Mari Belajar Sejarah! / Let's Learn History!

This post is specially written to all my fellow Malaysians who had the privilege of learning Sejarah throughout our five years of Secondary School. Take this as something to ponder about rather than a piece that (might) offend your sensibilities.

Pertaining to the topic at hand, do you remember the reasons you had to study Sejarah for your PMR and SPM examinations? Well, most of us would simply reply "So that we can score an A in them." Yes, if I were asked with that question four or six years ago, my answer would be something of that nature. After finishing my uniform-wearing, perhimpunan-going part of my life I realized that I, and probably most of you, overlooked a small yet immensely important tool used in this subject: bias.

Does that ring a bell to you?

That sub-topic was covered in the first chapter of Sejarah Tingkatan 1 that detailed "his-story" as events that involved certain parties in a certain period of time and bias is the interpretation of the story based on which side you're on e.g. Western Orientalists would label Tok Janggut, who fought against them in the state of Kelantan, as an influential rebel leader while Malaysian historians would depict him as a freedom fighter against the opressive tyranny of the British Empire. Ingat tak?

Although it was passed off as a meaningless and minute part of our Sejarah education (there was no necessity in memorizing it since it won't come out in the exam; remember the spotting culture too?), I realized that it gave a huge bearing on me to be more of an opinionated person rather than just accepting the facts as absolute truths. Thus, my bias on that example given above would be:

"Tok Janggut and his contemporaries actually did it to protect their self-interest. When they were under the Sultanate, they were appointed as statesmen (pembesar) who collected taxes from the people for the Sultan but their powers were usurped when the British came and colonized Malaya. Losing their income and status, the only option was to fight the invaders since they did not get a strong backing from the royalty."

So, who's theory is correct: the westerners', the locals' or mine? Well, that's the beauty of bias; no one opinion should be taken as something total because it allows us the freedom to form our own interpretation of history. Therefore, this has led me to form my own stand on other topics in Malaysian history e.g. the concept of derhaka (treason) against the Sultan made it available for unjust rulers to abuse their power for personal gains thus blind loyalty to the ruler should not be glorified, not to mention countless other issues and controversies the world has to offer.

As for you, start by using this small piece of knowledge to critique our own history rather than just regurgitating all the facts printed in the text book like what we used to do because you will get a clearer sense of the whole picture when you begin examining it from different angles. It's not wrong being neutral but it's right to have your own personal conviction.

Resistance Is Futile: BrokeNCYDE

"1-2, We're coming for you!"

So, while scouring Facebook (again) on a wet and gloomy Wednesday afternoon, I stumbled upon this group that my friend joined called Stop BrokeNCYDE. After doing a quick 10 minute research, I found out that BrokeNCYDE is a 4-piece crunk/rap group hailing from Albuquerque, NM. So, why stop them? Seems that their music sounds like "ear-rape", as one of many music critiques would put it or to be more exact, has "...offensive lyrics, a shallow image, and no actual musicianship." On the other spectrum, one of the defenders of this group said BrokeNCYDE "...CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER!"

"3-4, Lock your door!"

Heck, even mothers of daughters whom are die-hard fans of this group set up a website, Mothers Against BrokeNCYDE, who wants the organizers of Warped Tour to dump BrokeNCYDE from this year's roster as they cite that this group encourages "racist, sexist, paedophilic and demeaning music that glorifies underage sex, hard drinking and 'getting crunk' and unpatriotic views!" So, where will this controversy lead us to?

"5-6, Suck on my dick!"

Remember the 1950's when Elvis Presley did his dance gyrations on The Milton Berle Show and he was branded as the epitome of the decay of morality among teenagers of that decade? Well, here we go again! Except this time BrokeNCYDE does not bring any cultural or historical importance to the world and their lyrics are "stronger" than Elvis' thinly-veiled metaphor for sex.

I believe that it would be relevant for people to oppose them but since America is a country that believes in freedom of speech, then it would be very hard to justify their means. So far there has not been any cases of teenage girls being gang-raped by guys who did it after listening to one of BrokeNCYDE's songs but if it happened (whether or not they were influenced by BrokeNCYDE), expect this group to be one of the scapegoats.

"BrokeNCYDE will never die!"

What can we do about it, then? Honestly, just do nothing because the stronger you oppose it, people who initially support it will be more loyal and protective towards it. As most of the people who comment on it know, those who like this group are volatile teenagers around the age of 12 to 16 that are still searching for their identity and find that going against their parents bring some sort of personal satisfaction and achievement (been there, done that). So, attempting to ban BrokeNCYDE will make their fans want to sacrifice their lives for the existence and preservation of this group.

To those sensible enough on knowing that this group has bad taste, ignore them. To the mothers worried that their daughters might whore themselves in front of a BrokeNCYDE gig, just keep check of what they listen to. Or better, do a trade-off like "I'll allow you to see Cute Is What We Aim For/other contemporary generic bands that teenagers listen to nowadays on a school night but you have to promise me not to listen to BrokeNCYDE anymore." And...for those who swear in the name of God that they will devote themselves to BrokeNCYDE, I just wanna see if you guys would take the same oath when you're 21.

Summer '09: Backpacking America (Part II)

Hello again. After filling my last five days watching 1940's American noir movies (Humphrey Bogart is the coolest actor of his time; he gets the ladies twice as fast as James Bond could), it is high time for me to continue on my tales during my travels.

Free Spirit
One of the many quirks that singles me out from the rest of my friends is my liking on traveling alone. Words that would come out of their mouth upon hearing that I'm going solo include "Wouldn't it be boring traveling all these places all by yourself?", "Wouldn't it be kind of dangerous; what if something happens to you?" and my favorite, "Ko gila ke?"

Well, my first dose of this kind of travel actually happened on a cold December night at England. I was at London for 12 days with my friend and his family during my school holidays & while walking around Tottenham Court Road, I stumbled upon this booth selling concert tickets and one my favorites during that time (2004) was The Darkness was performing at Wembley Arena. Since my pal wasn't interested, I decided to head to Wembley all by myself.

After the concert ended around 10 pm, I took the bus from the arena to Wembley Central and passed by ghettoes upon ghettoes of outer London which are creepy and dodgy at night. Anything you thought that could go wrong might just happen. I had to get off at a stop to transfer buses that'll take me to the city and whaddya know, behind the bus stop was a cemetery! I don't know how or why but I didn't feel scared a bit.I got on the second bus, passing more ghettoes, eventually reaching home safe & sound. So, I thought to myself: why not I do this more often? Of course it has its risks but its all fun!

Back to that favorite question, I answer "Yes. Aku gila." Since I had survived that episode when I was only 16 years of age, then of course its worth a shot doing it again someplace else. Well, since I've already grown-up to the "old enough" age of 21, I've gotten less daring and more philosophical about it. I see myself as a lone ranger who travels from town to town just wanting to grab the juice of knowledge out of that place; meanwhile, I'll befriend other traveling compadres and just hang out with them till my time has come. Once the bottle of juice is full & everyone parts with smiling goodbyes, I'll just move on to the next joint. Pardon the Wild West pun, I was thinking of Sergio Leone's The Good, The Bad & The Ugly while doing this post.

And yes! It's true; New Orleans was the best time of my life. The hostel had a great atmosphere where people can lepak and just have a chat and it even culminated to a get together of mostly strangers and acquaintances from all around the world (dominated by Brits, they seem to be everywhere!) and we headed out to Frenchman St to check out the scene over there for a crazy Memorial Day weekend night-out. On another occasion, our group consisted of a couple of Germans and Dutch with a Canadian, an(other) English, a Danish and me, a Malaysian. Talk about multicultural!

There are a lot of untold (not untold really, just don't wanna bore you) benefits of traveling as a free spirit other than forming a web of networks with people from around the world. I'm not gonna force you on doing it but if you get the chance, try it once. At least for a short trip. An unexpected twist to your adventure or a wacky compadre could just etch an everlasting memory to your mind.

Summer '09: Backpacking America (Part I)

Greetings people of cyberspace. I have recently completed my 29-day journey of Austin, San Antonio, New Orleans and Pittsburgh and am safely back in rural central Pennsyvlania that is of State College. This serialized post would not be a detailed experience of what I did throughout my trip but what I learned as I skipped from city to city.

Stereotyping Stereotypes

Before we begin, if I say the word "Texas" what would be the first things to come to your mind? My guess would be cowboys, desert, George W. Bush & rednecks. Thanks to television and the silver screen all of us just simply know how a typical Texan look like: a gun-toting, horse-riding, take-no-for-an-answer, tough guy. Well, my experience at Austin seemed to disprove any stereotype I had before. One of my acquantainces whom I met during my travels told me that "Austin is a liberal oasis smacked in the middle of a huge conservative desert." How true he is.

Throughout my five days at Austin, I didn't see anyone wearing full cowboy gear except the occasional hat & contrary to the fact, people over there do not speak with a Southern accent. If you were to meet an Austinite in any other state, you wouldn't have guessed that person to be from Texas. It was only during my second last night at Austin that I finally savored the accent from a waitress at a Mexican restaurant at SoCo but there was still a suspicion that she might come from Oklahoma or Alabama.

Besides that, people over there are very friendly (think Southern hospitality) and modern; one example would be while I was paying for my falafel at Whole Foods Market, a quite high-end supermarket that sells local and organic food, the cashier had a chat with me about my t-shirt which portrayed the post-rock band Explosions In The Sky and when we shifted to the topic of music festivals in America, he told me he had been to Coachella six times! Really made me felt like a rookie.

Fat Americans
Another stereotype that citizens of other nations like to make fun about or to express disgust is Americans are a bunch of fat and lazy sods. True. BUT this premise only holds in the southern states. I was quite shocked to see a proportional number of fat people at Austin, San Antonio & New Orleans as compared to when I went to Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and New York City; one glaring reason for this apparent quantity of large people per square mile is down to their diet.

Food in the south is the best that you can get: steaks are in abundance, hence making it their staple and almost everything that can be deep-fried will be deep-fried while up north people tend to be more health conscious and have more variety to choose from. However, the media would spin it around and generalize that all Americans are overweight. This is a hasty surmise since their diet has already become part of their lifestyle and as far as economics is concerned, demand would not diminish as long as there is cheap supply.

Reporting From America! #3

Thanksgiving break is upon me: after nearly three months of laboring through the semester, the obligatory one-week semester break has begun! I am set for Philadelphia on Sunday, visiting my friends at Temple University & probably hanging out with my Cell Biology classmate, Antwoine. Before setting off on my adventure to the city (State College is a small town), here are some pros and cons of working and living in America.

PROS!
The First Amendment

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

In short, the freedom of speech. Americans proudly defend their democracy by saying that the country is founded on the rights of every American citizens to speak out whatever they want; from appraisals to criticisms. My American friends told me that if they lambast their own country and government e.g. "I hate America!" or "America sucks!" they would not get any form of censure or punishment because they are protected by the constitution.

Although this might seem crazy and alien to other people, I am a proponent for free speech. Walking around campus and downtown, I would sometimes see people holding placards advocating same-sex marriage, activists spreading anti-sweatshop pamphlets and even a pro-Palestinian group waving their nation's flag and shouting for the freedom of their motherland. Besides, my university even have its own resident preacher, famously known as the Willard Preacher, he would hang out in front of the Willard building preaching to students on his view of his faith which is Christianity and most of the times students would hang out and debate with him on his ideals.

I strongly believe that we should be given the right to exercise free speech because the benefits outweigh the harms. Although there are instances whereby certain parties abuse this amendment to spread hate and propaganda, the vast majority choose to use it in a responsible and sensible manner. Modern society is rapidly progressing intellectually and I'd hope that more and more people of the world will be aware of this great power and fight for their rights of free speech. You can obliterate a person's body but you will never stem his ideals.

Science & Teknology
Even though America is one of the 'youngest' countries in the world and still an evolving culture, it has improved leaps and bounds in terms of research, development and innovation of technology. Just say any type of industry and there always seems to be a top American corporation in the list. Other civilizations have laid the ground work and currently Americans are at the forefront of using all these knowledge to drive the enhancement of human life.

Pertaining to biotechnology and the like, America has managed to produce a great number of scientists in various fields of biology incessantly finding ways to cure a disease or to increase crop yield. As a future scientist, Insya Allah, these are exciting times for me as more and more new discoveries are being made and the rate of advancement in almost all fields of biology is reaching hyperdrive. One must make sure not to miss out in this new age of discovery.

CONS!
SiCKO
The title of Michael Moore's shocking (as all his documentaries are) expose on America's health care system. In fear of making medicine "socialized", this overtly capitalistic country shun the calls for a Universal Health Care system whereby all citizens in this country are entitled to free health services paid for by the government. Instead, you'd get this bunch of medicare insurance companies squeezing the people out of their pockets.

If you want to get treatment at clinic or hospital, you must have insurance BUT these so-called "caring" insurance corporations will find any means and ways to make sure they WON'T cover your ailment. Contrary to the concept of helping people become healthier, more and more people are dying because they are paying the premium and grossly expensive medical fees for the sickness their insurance company won't provide. In short, if you don't have money you might as well die.

HATE TEXAS...I MEAN TAXES
It seems that over here everything is taxed. As I have alluded in my previous post, everything here is taxed. You won't get it in restaurants because you will be tipping $14 to the waitress! Recent examples are taxes on your salary which is a lot: local, state and federal taxes must be taken off your monthly salary in the order of 10-15%. What is more ridiculous is that my friend who bought a car from a private seller (not from a dealership) also has to pay tax! 'Nuff said.

So, here are my recent (3 months) observation on this country called America. As time goes by, the more I learn about how things work here, I shall report to you as soon as possible and maybe my opinions on the matters above could change. This is Danial Ariff, signing off!

Finally, Encounter With Drunk Americans!

It was one of my mini-goals to accomplish when I came to the United States of America: observe the drunken culture of people over there! Here is a brief encounter of me and my friend Naim, with three Mat Sallehs while walking back home from campus (oh, we went to watch an improv comedy group!) around midnight:

Drunk 1: (Saw Naim with pizza boxes in his hand) Hey, looks like you have more than one pizza over there.

Naim: Yeah, but both are for my friends back home.

Drunk 2: That's alright, man. By the way, do you guys know where Hamilton Avenue is?

Danial: Yeah, it's just down this road.

Drunk 1: I'll take your word for that man. We'll just follow them while they drop bits and pieces of pizza to us.

Everyone: Hahahahahahahaha...

Then, Naim asked me "Ko tau ke jalan ke Hamilton Avenue ni?" and I replied "Tak salah aku kat depan ni je. Kalau salah, cabut lah!" We then proceeded to walk our usual fast pace leaving the group of three drunkards behind and fortunately for us there was a group of girls walking towards us. They passed us but got stopped by the gang of three. Then, we never looked backed again...

Reporting From America!

The auspicious date of 080808 was the date I arrived at the Land Of Hope & Dreams, America. A land for my hope to graduate with a degree in Biotechnology and for my dreams to become a scientist since I was small....ZzzZzzZzzz. I do not want to talk about my studies here in State College, PA as it won't be the first question my friends ask about America since they are more interested in knowing the "culture" there although America is considered a "new" country. Hence, here are some musings on the American way of life:

PERFECTLY NORMAL
America's a little bit like Singapore in terms of cleanliness & obedience towards the law except Singapore is freakishly clean and from one of those novelty t-shirts, a "fine" city. Here it's clean too but you can still see a couple of rubbish by the sidewalk people do use the pedestrian crossings & not blindly cross the road anywhere they like (oh, how I miss Malaysia!) but sometimes they would cross the street when there are no cars even when the "STOP" sign is flashing which is an abomination in Singapore. These examples make Americans pretty normal human beings: you bend the law but not break 'em.


HANDPHONES & NETWORK OPERATORS
Over here, you can't just buy a handphone per se; you have to buy it with a plan. So, if you decide to buy a phone and take up a plan with one of the network operators here (AT&T, T-Mobile, Verizon etc), your phone will bear the logo of that network operator. Sucks, huh? Feels like our phones are like tools of advertisements ("This phone is sponsored by T-Mobile"). However, the best bit is the phone plans whereby these network operators here epitomizes capitalism: maximum profit. I'm currently using an AT&T prepaid whereby the deal (Pay As You Go) is like this:

• $1.00 airtime/day if I call any AT&T number. If I don't, I don't need to pay the airtime fee.
• I get unlimited minutes if I call any AT&T number i.e. doesn't matter how long or short I still pay $1.00/day.
  
• Additional $0.10/minute if I call other network operators.
• Additional $0.15/text message.

Sounds like an honest, fair deal huh? The catch is even if someone from an AT&T number calls you and you answer it, you have to pay the $1.00 airtime fee reason being that you are using the service. Next, even if you receive a text message from any mobile operator users, you have to pay $0.15 for the same reason. So, if I send you a text message or vice versa both of us have to pay $0.15 each & the mobile operator is the one raking in all the profit! I'm not so sure about the postpaid (called contract over here) plan but most of my friends using it are complaining about the...


TAXES
The confusion over taxes, gratuity & tips is overbearing for a foreigner. If you decide to go out for lunch or dinner at a restaurant, be prepared to pay them tips. Once I had lunch at this Thai restaurant with five of my friends, we had to pay 18% gratuity which was about $14. FOURTEEN DOLLARS TIPS! No wonder the waitress was superbly kind to us. If you go shopping at Walmart you will also get taxed: 6% state tax (in this case Pennsylvania. State taxes differ by states) and dunno how many percent federal tax. Thus, my friends who opt to use the postpaid plan here will have to pay about $10-$15 taxes per month. No wonder this country is rich, people pay taxes for everything!


HOW'S IT GOING?
The culture of meeting & greeting people here is by asking

1. "What's up?"
2. "How are you?"
3. "How's it going?"

and the usual responses would be

1. "Good"
2. "Great"
3. "Excellent"

even if you don't mean it. They don't want to know how or what you are actually doing; as I said just now it's just a greeting. Besides that, people do also say "Have a nice day" or "Have a good night" when leaving and the usual response would be "You too". At first, I find it kind of fake but once I get used to it, it doesn't feel that awkward anymore and find it quite fun since it's a cultural thing like giving salam for Muslims and shaking hands for Malaysians.


CABLE TV
Our landlord "gifted" us free expanded basic cable television for the whole year so we get around 60 channels, which is more than we wished for. Nothing much to say other than I've been watching Family Guy on [adult swim] on weekday nights from 11pm till midnight. Eat my shorts, Homer Simpson!